How to Stay Calm in the Face of a Co-Worker's Damning Statements About You

Dear Office Mom,
An ex coworker is messaging my coworkers and boss about me stating that I am incompetent, rude and that I should be fired from my job. They also sent me the same email that they sent to other people at my workplace. What should I do?
— Troubled

Dear Troubled,

Image Credit:  Pexels

Image Credit: Pexels

Yikes! I’m sure this is a tough situation. Try not to overact, lash out, play the blame game or try to defend yourself. It likely will serve no purpose and merely prolong the situation. Instead, take some time to reflect. Are you incompetent? If so, in what areas and how might you improve? If there is any truth to the allegations, take some to assess your strengths and how you might improve your work performance.

Are you rude? If you are not, ignore the vicious noise, hunker down and do your job. This will pass. If you sense some validity to the charge (i.e., you’ve heard this before) step up and do something about it. The “rude” label is often placed on folks who are task oriented, want to dispense with idle chit chat and get sh+t done. Not everyone is wired that way so if you haven’t done a personality styles assessment, I encourage you to complete one. Try the free version of either the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (my personal fave since it’s similar to the Myers Briggs)) or 16 Personalities. You will gain an awareness of different styles, what makes people tick, give you insight into how you interact with and are perceived by others and equally important how others perceive you. This is often the proverbial light bulb that leads to personal change.

Overall, this ex-employee is totally out of bounds and I hope the team knows that. Regardless, I don’t think there’s a way to handle it other than taking the high road! I hope this helps!

xo

Yom

Originally published on Quora.